My life starts here!

Ok this year was one of the hardest. So many trials so much drama, so much heartbreak. I was in love, everyone knows this, and i still get i cant believe yall broke up, yall were so perfect together. But looking perfect just isnt enough. We barely fought, until then. We barely quarrled, until then, we barely hurt one another, until then. He was the one i looked up to, the one i turned to support, for guidance and he was also the one who let me down, then picked me up and promised me, let me down, then did it again then let me down. Now here i stand. The remnants of a thrice broken heart wondering where to go from here. When my friends in relationships turn to me for answers all i could say is, look at me, look at my situation, look at the cycles i have been in for the past year, do i really look like someone who could offer good advice. Do i really look like someone who could help. Im emotionally shattered and heartbroken. Im second best. Im not good enough. I honestly do hate my life, at least the one i had in 2008. It was supposed to be the year, my year and look who i am. Look where i am, i dont even know. Ive been pushing everyone away and pretending and smiling and trying to look happy but i really dont know what im doing. He taught me how to be a better person, in fact i wanted to become a better person for him but it just wasnt enough. Im learning that you just cant trust people. That people only care about themselves.Im trying to do the same. Maybe then ill finally learn to love myself again.