Yes im the one that's always wrong and im a deadbeat

Saturday: you wanna comewith me down south, ill drive
No response
Sunday,Im feeling for an ice cream,you wanna comewith
No
And today is tuesday, and you hopped in the car and go off with her, you then barge in the room and ask me why :you does open your window
My reply via text :"because i sometimes want to prove to myself im not lying but you are when you say you dont want to go somewhere with me but do so with her"
BARGES INTO ROOM


'YOU SEE YOU AND YOUR SHIT, I FED UP OF YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT, YOU DOES TRY YOUR LUCK.

but i was simply pointing out how it looks to me,

 i dont care,you full of bullshit.You know where i went, to the grocery, to buy______ yes your sister gave me money and you didnt, you just full of shit, thats all

slams door once, shingles fall, slams door twice.

I HAVE TO BE THE WORST DAUGHTER EVER, TO EVEN EXPECT MY MOTHER TO WANT TO SPEND TIMEWITH ME,L. HOW DARE I EXPECT THAT, WHY WOULD SHE??? IM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT

I think my paitience is being tested

Oh dear god kill me now, run me over. And honestly I dont care for a funeral. This cannot be it?? I know im moaning and whining for the past 5 months over something that has been a reality for some people's past couple years but please, let $3800 a month not be my reality after having studied for both a bsc, and a msc with 2000 in loans a month....Im left with basically nothing. And to top it all off, the mother gets a new job, is flaunting her uniforms and the sister gets made permanent, both having only studied up to cxc. I tried to be happy for the friend who told me she got a new job friday, or the one whose byline i saw today, but im fucking jealous and becoming more and more depressed. Im beginning to realize life isnt fucking fair and maybe i should have just said fuck school and done something else. Its sad, its reality. I really just want enough money to move out and have my own place. Last sunday that ungrateful did something violent towards me as a joke and the mother said not a fucking word. It hurts. The father on the other hnd yelled at me. I fucking hate my life sometimes.  Dear god help me, $6000 a month will surely suffice me being close to that goal. Im emotionally drowning and tired of those who are supposed to be my family because they really never ever support me and my shit. and no1 understands because everything for them is so honky dorey.