Im sorry, sort this 1 out yourselves, since yall make the perfect fucking team

Ugh 2012 come soon

i am so not in a good mood, that bitch got me so pissed in work todayl, oh how i do so much shit in d cash book, 3 errors....ughdo it yourself, im doing the best I can and im only human, humans make mistakes....i really hope after your show of behaviour today you dont expect me to "sit and eat with you like an office family"
Plus I hate double agents like horsey Jill and Jess.


Who the fuck took out my laptop battery and replaced it with the old one, had me wondering why it wsas draining so quickly

Today's events

I freaking touched another car while reversing in couva, dude wasnt too upset, neitehr was I which is strange, maybe because of the mood I was in

The square lady from work "threw words for me" saying im making mistakes in the cash book, wow,lady idgaf if I suck at accounts, it isnt my thing and I know it

Im stillll waiting on websource to deliver my stuff, meanwhile cunty mc countrypants doesnt understand how ordering online works. Put money on my VTM for me to buy her kid a toy and is now upset with me because she didnt put aside enough money for freight and shipping

Its mine

I really dont understand how the hell I could be seen as selfish, its my stuff, you dont fucking walk out the house in my shoe without saying anything and expect to it be normal. And of late every1 is asking me to borrow money, and not paying me back. That shit is ovver, new leaf, new year. Im tired of being a human doormat. Its fucking mine, not yours. And the reason Im so possessive is its all I have, it wont love me back but it sure as fuucking hell leaves a better impression on me mentally than  you do.

Leave me alone when Im pissed off

You have 2 daughters . I spot your favorite gold ring  on her finger, i go to my room, and you tell me I have no right to be upset? I didnt say a word eh. But Im wrong. Dont tell me how to feel. I cant wait to move out of here

What a life

Ive been going to counselling, which may explain why I havent been writing as much, its nice to be able to vent and not be judged on it..I didnt go this week though and im itching to tell the counsellor and yall as well how everything went with redoing my thingy for la bruja....wellllll.....SHE IS A LUNATIC. Deadeyez, you wouldnt believe what happened in class, frkin psycho and evry1 just sat there like wtf just happened, Anywho she said I did an excellent pres. Which may prolly mean I get 2/50 by her psychotic standards..

why

cant everyone wash their own fucking dishes....this whole week system is shit, you lick a bowl, you wipe off ur saliva, i lick one, i do the same....

Writing back my story

I just played the recording from that wknd and my knees started to shake. Am I strong enough? Maybe. Do I wish I didnt write the Dean? Maybe. Do I think anything will come of my complaints? No!!

So as of write now I am coersively seeking therapy just so that I can be given a grade formy course. I have NO problem with therapy in fact I like it but being compelled to do 10 sessions is a bit rush and I would think she, as a professional would know that there would be little gains from rushing the process.

So now, Im going to counsel myself addressing the issues highlighted..

Dependence on laptop-I write my notes there, i suffer from hyperhydrosis which has resulted in a lifetime of poor penmanship. So from now on I will walk with a rock and a knife, to carve out my notes, etch them out in hyroglyphics.

Lack of self confidence as evidenced by asking my grade-Umm if a student DIDNT wonder how he or she performed id be worried, so, to address this in the future, id take a peek in your mark book. Look Ma! No questions, arent you proud.

My inability to deal with failure and negative feedback with inappropriate behaviour such as sobbing - Listen here, Ill have you know I failed both UWI Accounts and Economics,  and I dealt with it, ihave an undergrad degree, I didnt go shanking the teacher. As for innapproprite behaviour such as sobbing, were you in the toilet stall with me lizzie the lezzie??? How do you know it wasnt allergies from your leau de granny perfume?? All you saw was a red face. Plus real humans cry, unless u arent a real human, but then again, you're perfect.

Your poor people skills- Lady, I have like 300 friends on fb, all of whom I know and actually talk to.....nuffsaid

I wish i could say all these things to you, but I cant, if you know me,  this is what goes through my brain but doesnt come out my mouth. You think I have poor people skills but you need to come see me, observe me outside of the classroom or even read my blog and you may understand me. You sent me into a depression with your unkind ways and words, your extremely inaccurate assessment of me. But im fighting my way out of it, thanks to some friends, especially PS who supported me here. 

I said a prayer for you today that you may grow a heart. And I meant it. I think sometimes people  forget where they come from or what they come from and as such they become someone else, someone unlikeable but they think they are loved. A kind of regina george syndrome. I dont know what the future holds for me with this programme but I know that you DONT hold my future in your hands really, Ill make my own

\

Yesterday was THE WORST

So if you remember, I failed my cw in that specific course Well i flew across y2d 3 am  to attend the first lecture and she told me NOT to come into her class, the fact that Im here show's that im being manipulative and if all i have to do is prepare a case presentation for the last lecture I do not need to be here. I explained to her that I didnt want to miss any information relevant to the presenattaion and she said thats not her problem, I am NOT to come into her class and disrupt the flow of it by being there

...

Since you told me that you had already selected a therapist and that you were already scheduled to start therapy because your family also had some similar concerns about your behavior, I trust that you did and that you will be willing to sign a release to the school for your therapist to provide a summary as to how many sessions you had, the areas that were covered and the progress you have made.

Then i will be allowed to repeat the component

They will never understand

Clearly i chose wrongly
But its about that time
Im tired
That was uncaring
After I tried to help out
That says it all
That secret
Im done
Im done
Im fucking done

2 wishes, die or die

I dont matter.
I wont matter
I dont deserve anything
No one cares
Why?
Why am I here
To be lonely?
I guess so
No one fucking cares

On my own

I only write when im upset but its becoming clear that im always upset..I would never understand how you culd misenterpret what you do as support. You make me feel guilty for not working and not contributing. But im in school. And when you make sly comments like oh the only person you responsible for is the little boy it hurts because im drowning under loan paymnets and i mean although I know i am responsible.. You encouraged me to take them with the promise that you'd help me repay. You dont. Why is it so hard to understand why m in school and honestly sometimes you make me feel like youd be happier if i took the path you did, and just forgot about school and settled down. Idk if then id be happy but for so long my life has been a perpetual struggle to please you but its always that my accomplishments are trivialized or overshadowed by what she has done. You seem bored with me yet spend hours on her bed just gazing and listening to thr babbles of her accomplishments. And i feel as if once again you are ready for me to go, but go where. I think you will never understand how much i hold in, because I have learnt that I am the one who must keep quiet while she vents her anger such as the incident with the fan the other day. It feels likeso often your levels of anger is so misplaced and in doing so you solidify that i am the greather disappointment. I have no money, no job and I really cant go anywhere so why push me to go. All i feel is pressure, in my throat, in my chest and in my head and as always its making me more and mor depressed. being the persn i am i never forget ANYTHING that is sad to me and as a result your words from earlier keep playing in my head as painful as they are. I want o get out. I want to leave but i really cant and this is hurting me. But you nly see what you want to but even as writing this i know i am always wrong and nothing i say really meeans anything. who cares how i feel, its always me with me and me

nuff said

Pain

I hold so much pain in my heart in my chest it hurts
It will never disappear
And so i cry, shed tears, more than necessary in the hope that the pain will go away
But it wont, itll stay with me until I die
And no1 but me shall weep

Success=simultaneous failure?

Sometimes i wonder if i overestimate my acheivements, my successes
I think most mothers would be proud of what I acheived, undergrad then masters and next phd
But my mother, she's just like blah
I think she would be more proud of me if i settled down and got married even if unhappily
Would have been more proud if i could have given her a grandchild
Would have been more proud if i were less smart
Would have been prouder if I were prettier
But I am not
I feel like a perpetual disappointment.

The only REAL thing keeping me from killing myself is my student loans. Im not sefish enough to leave them to pay it.

But maybe after, when im done, i will
Because i really do hate who I am and hate my life

Yeh so what, its almost over isnt it...

Life is so firetrucking depressing and the fact that im not allowed a voice makes me want to SCREAM inside! I wish i could find that outspoken person I found years ago, im so introverted and recently, i never leave my house. Im just a depressing mess

Narcolepsy

Why the eff am i so tired during the day, while at practicum, i fell asleep standing up, wtf yo

Im learning to hide my emotions well

I guess thats what they want, my feelings have been hurt yet again but i wait to cry in silence. 

Clearly to teach/supervise in UWICH

You have to be an idiot

3.2.1 The vacation that never kicked off

Ok im prematurely eulogizing it because I want to, its my blog and I can! 

1) Religion is the opium of the masses- I hated sociology and this is the ONLY thing I remember from those classes but im pretty sure whoever said it did not mean religion is a drug that you must take and force down someone's throat even if it isnt theirs

2) Money Can buy happiness-So during my vacation I was asked to help teach in a school, i did so for 6 days 8 hours daily, got my paycheck yesterday, 60 US. Have you ever seen the movie eurotrip and they only had like 15 cents but had a ball because the exchange rate was so low? Bitch 60 us is basically toilet paper, so in ur bible school you are gonna gloss over the passage that says

"Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbour, neither rob him: the wages of him that is hired." 19:13

3) Ill be watching you- This may sound mean but she's 17, she's slow and she's under my bed, sometimes in the dark ill hear a noise and realize she's standing inside the closet staring at me, or in the hallway just looking in, FOR AN HOUR + Its kind of weird, i really wud love to know the diagnosis because she functions semi normal. However i think the meds need to be tweaked a little bit more if you leave a conversation with me to joke for half hour with a pillar. 

Three More Days...

There is a such thing as too much Jesus

Im going crazy!!!!!!!

School

From about first year str8  til upper six, you're constantly told to shut up and listen, stop talking, pay attention. At the masters level you're penalized for shutting up, listening and not speaking.


Food for thought

Deadeyez-common theme of the week?

, while you improve from last semester in that, you are not as dependent and married to the computer (remember psychology relies on one’s humane / human skill), you have a penchant to go to extremes. You interpreted my feedback in a rather immature manner. Last semester, I suggested that you listen more, participate more, pay attention and spend less time on the computer. The average student’s response to my feedback would have simply been to cut back on the excessive reliance on the computer in the classroom. What was your response? - No use of technology in your class presentation for this semester. As such, your presentation while improved was not as effective as your peers because you used no visual aides, no power point in an era when every student understands or should understand that such technology facilitates the presentation especially when the presenter speaks too fast as you did.  Well, I hope you do some reflection as you take into consideration how you can ensure your prodigious growth from here onwards.

BITCH YOU TOLD ME NOT TO USE POWERPOINT!!!!

I am

Above all things really really weird!

Cant w8 to get home n play this

FML

To a lesser extent but still urgh!

Dear skin

Please cooperate, i know you're stressed, i know its exams, but do you see the way you're acting? You havent been this reckless since form 5. Remember, everything you do from here on out has consequences....specifically scars that arent pretty. Noone will want to marry you.


Signed
The human

And now I feel worse

I mean yeh i should have said im not really in the mood to go to mas so late, as in 6pm in town. But now im wondering if the bus waited on me and I hate feeling like I inconvenienced people. Ugh fml, ftw, 19 mored days

Sux

Yup 2day is the christening and bcuz im at school i miss it, i always miss everything. I really feel so alone and have always felt like an outsider with my fam n 2day its even worse. I really think i need to move out as soon as feasible

Im putting my foot down

They want me to start my practicum, 500 hour practicum btw the day after my exams end
1) I already told my godmum i'd spend the 2 weeks by her
2) Im tired
3) Im tired
4) Theyhaddabemadindeyfiretruckinghead

They're trying to convince me. telling me that the practicum supervisor lady has to vaca with her fam, 2 wks in june, 1 in august. I dont think im being unfair/spoilt. Am I?

I hate cramming!

You know you can do it, you're a sponge for information, not this type, but still its possible. Try to link it all, try to absorb it all, you have a week and a half come on! 

This may probably seem funny because of lack of sleep...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk&feature=player_embedded

Advice

Today a friend announced that her mom insists you must love the man who loves you. Thats who you should be with....hmmm I'm realll picky

Did you know?

That when you buy plantain from the grocery, it isnt ripe....well i found that out this morning

I'm Exhausted

I go to class for 8 hours two days a week, the other 5 days i spend 6 hours each at least in the library, and i havent even got to studying for exams. Im tired and already feel defeated. Plus i have the witch tomorrow and have made so many pages to my paper you'll think im writing a novel. Kalms to sleep tonight

umm

so usu when i start a story with umm my bff s-j goes "oh lawd what u do" so to clarify i didnt do nething. BUTTTTTTTTTTT!! We bounced in2 one another n he asked for my number. Outside im like yeh wtvr, but inside its likeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...


ok now back to normal ppl speak

Im kinda sorta blushing

Compatibility

She n i get along ok but im writing not aabout her byt about her relationship. Since i met her all she could talk about is her bf. He does this he does that. Sometimes it was sickening, sometimes it was adorable, sometimes it was enviable bcuz my own relationship at that time was mess. She answered the phone hey bb and u cud totally tell when he saw her he lit up. So he's for the sake of anonymity, a bricklayer and she's a msc student. And i had my doubts, eeeeeeeeeh really, wud it work? Convos revolved around the same issue. I stayed out of it because who am I to speak to someone about what makes them happy. Fastforward to this semester, they're done. Why? Because he doesnt understand how stressful it is to do both a msc and a relationship and has been demanding the same level of attention b4 she began the degree. So i hear my aunt in my head (who is single btw) saying u can only be fulfilled in a relationship if you and ur pathner are equally yolked. On the same playing field. Have the same level of ambitions. And i wonder if it is true. Could a ceo happily and etenrally marry a garbage man? Or is it just a matter of pride that gets in the way. *KANYE SHRUG*

My weakness

I think i sympathize wayyyyy too much with the disadvantaged, the underprivileged and the unhappy. Which is weird cuz im really mean. Mean in the sense of i have verbal vomit, i say whats on my mind waaaaaaaaaay more than I should and sometimes, most times i dont regret it cuz its the  truth. But when i look at crime and see the young faces of crime, I realize im usually the one arguing for them, arguing about where they come from, argue about how they were probably raised and why they are where they are. I think even though ill never tell him, im 70% like my father in terms of his trade union business and drive. People may feel im a bitch and Ill own up to the label but i dont think im going to be detatched from subordinates  in my field of work. I love trinidad, although many people hate it and this bitch will do her best to fix her country

I am such a ruh-tahd

I did the unthinkable, i added him last night, and i woke up and saw he accepted. Loser territory here I come

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

K really, dilemma, y oh why did i have 2 see you again, and again and again in three weeks. And why oh why didnt u say screw her, im hanging wit my boys in ur bajanese language that i dont understnad at all (smile and nod smile and nod) and the hugs, meh and the kisses, cute altho i played it down. You kissed me in public@!!!!! Just last week I was talking about it. Bitch do u know what dat does to a girl??? And u didnt have ur fone and I was pissing drunk so our next meeting will once again be by chance. Meh! I hate thinking like a girl while i very well know i date like a guy. Cheers to tha freakin weekend!!!

Hangovers

I think if you were to give people hangovers BEFORE they take the sip of the alcoholic beverage, no1 wud drink, the number of drunk driving accidents would decline, and I would not be feeling as shitty as i do today. Jus sayin

I N33D

RELIABLE INTERNET ACCESS DAMMITTTTTTTT!!!

Plain Talk - Phillip Edward Alexander: Calling a Spade a Spade... (On the scourge of viol...

Plain Talk - Phillip Edward Alexander: Calling a Spade a Spade... (On the scourge of viol...: "There is a shameful secret bubbling away in this country, a vile racism that separates and denigrates whatever it is not and wants to excuse..."


I hate racism, absolutely loathe it, and today when i read this post i could not help but feel so upset that i couldnt even concentrate in class. I know everyone has a right to freedom of speech but freedom of speech this kind of post just incites violence and widens the divide rather than bridging the gap. And like Rebecca Black....it has gone viral overnight. To see his rebuttals  on facebook is even more amazing. I google imaged him to see what he looked like and was even more dismayed by his brazenness. Hopefully he is just a troll like the "japan jesus girl" of the week.

I think the stress is getting to me

I fall asleep by 9 pm with my laptop on
My eye is twitching
My shoulders hurt
Im drinking coffee
My acid reflux is a pain in the ass



56 more days....

I love fashion

Anyone who knows me knows how much i love clothes (and hate footwear) I can rattle off names of designers like an E news correspondent and have an affinity for Charlotte Avenue (i hate saying charlotte street, it sounds sooo ghetto) because of the many pieces I can find. Well ive developed a new addiction, asos.com which currently offers free shipping. Im obsessed, ive banned myself from swimsuits but have moved on to dresses. The lord alone knows where im going with all the clothes ive bought but i dont care, i love my wardrobe and its contents. Even though i may not even wear them all

My psyche psychs me out

So this week i watched this really good movie called Matching Jack about a little boy who had leukemia and this actress chick jacinda barrett was in it. So today I decided it was about damn time i watch the human stain cuz its been nagging me a while now and who's in it, Jacinda Barrett. So here's where psychology comes in. Did my subconscious suggest that I watch another movie with her in it, or did i know and secretly forget. These things really fascinate me. Its like when you're thinking about a person you havent seen in ages and bam, days later, you bounce them up in town. Im too easily astounded. I need to grow up. I doubt my parents ponder such trivialities

A hippopotamus sat on my nose

Well not really, but this week I have the attention span of a tsetse fly.


So far online ive watched
Hall Pass-HMM 5/10
Unknown-LIAM NEESON-NUFF SAID
Big Mama-AITE
The Adjustment Bureau-CUTE,THEY SOLD IT SCI FI BUT ITS MORE CHICK CLICK
Paul-AITE
Just go with it-HILARIOUS MUST WATCH, REALLY
I am Number 4-LEVEL CRAP
House
Pretty Little Liars
Desperate Housewives
Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Ive pulled out a million strands of my hair

And Im eating level rubbish-sweet corn, cookies, cake., icing, jello, soda (And im not a sugar person, AT ALL)

Couples Counseling for the singles

Dr K, is a lecturer, but he doesnt stop there, he's also a preacher. A preacher who does relationship counselling. Now i dont usually like teachers. Fact is, they suck, but somehthing about Dr. K, he speaks like he's speaking to me. He tells us things about men and women, like "the main reason men want 2 leave a marriage is because "women nag" and it tells me what a woman is, and what a wife is and tells me that some women, to make sure a marriage "works" and thrives is when cthey change themselves. Look, he just said "men love affirmation, fake i t to make it", And i listen, but should i turn myself into a lie to "catch a good man?". Is a good man a man who ill have to become docile too? He pointed out women sacrifice their sex life for secuirty, that men have gone two decades without an O. Lordie he just said a woman asked in counseling fi she's supposed 2 move in sex, He's lecturing but im hearing and im thinking im not the marriageable type. I changed once and he turned out to be  a flaming psycho.

Oh he suggested 2 books

Fire in the belly-on being a man, sam keen

men are from mars, women are from venus, mars and venus in the bedroom

I dont have time to read right now and rly cant tote home additional books but i am gonna buy them on abebooks when i get home, (saw them for $1USD) and have a good read

STOP FUCKIN PULLING

Stop pulling out your hair!! Please!!! I know it feels good when you pull out the ones that are rooted deep and cause pain but think of the patch you'll get. I know you cant help it, you do it when you're nervous or upset or stressed. Are you always all those things now. Your hair will look a mess, just stop!! Take your hands out of your head

$5

$5 says the shitty internet is going to cut off this weekend....AGAIN 

My hilarious bajan wknd-well at least 2 me

Sooooo, dis weekend was fun/funny wtf. Saturday night dis dude we met(used as our drop) from a previous party offered 2 take us (Myself and my friend ) to a soca fete, cool. So in the  party dude like corbeaux on my ass so i decided to lean against the stage and dance. Get the hint predator like dude? Apparently not.So i had to  buff him. On the way home,  after 5am, I'm in the back seat n i notice the  car takin a detour. Im quiet, my friend  goes, ammm where we goin? He says matter of factly :Brandons beach 2 skinny dip' face straight continues driving. I wanna buss out laughin eh. So friend is like umm no pal take us home. Vex no ass he spins the car  around speeds, passes my house str8 so im like excuse! He said "I go drop u after" which imo makes no sense. Drops her off n she is like call me when u inside. After i disembark he tells me hold up. Oh can i get your number? Im like i doh have a fone, while fone in hand. He goes im a good guy i go take u out. I yawn like yeh umm i sleepy. Im goin inside. Dude is vex. He is like u see me, now too early n i was lookin 2 have a good time, Im goin to d strip club!

I fuckin fed up

And you see this! This is why i fuckin hate uwi cavehill. How d fuck do you mess up a student's email and not send any correspondence to them then not follow up and say dog, did you get this? or did you get that? Now i may not even be placed for practicum this year due to uwi fuckery. You send the email january 5th and didnt even wonder why i didnt reply????Thank you uwi cave hill. Fuck u

Still I rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise. 




Maya angelou

Bdos pics

The campus

The view

The Beach

The Town

Temporary weak moment over

Page 1 resumes today

Oh and i like to pretend i didnt post some stuff

I want to sleep, but i need to write

I want to sleep but I cant, until i write
Until i get this out of my system
I dunno why its just here, back in my mind
I forgot it in a week, i got over it.
In september, i was naive, the dominican lured me to his room and i said oh i cant stay a while and dont think i doing nething with you. I barely knew him. Im a trusting idiot. I went, and we sat and spoke, then as i said ok u getting too close, and got up to leave he picked me up. Im tiny as hell, but didnt fathom I was that light, and flung me on the bed. Pinned me to the bed and while i kept saying no, he was kissing me and trying to get my shirt open. He called me a tease. I know its my fault, i still have the shirt, and this week while wearing it, i noticed the missing button and wondered if it was from that night. I did fight back, but then i just said what's the point, he's stronger, and I just went where my mind goes for a while. I got up and ran when he eased off a bit. But i was scared. Really scared. Didnt leave my room for a week. He came knocking, almost every night but i was too afraid to answer. Left notes under my door and even once jammed the door with his foot so i couldnt shut it while he threatened to come in. I Wondered why me, why out of all the promiscuous friends that had to happen. It has stopped, apart from his attempt to get a hug upon my return to halls this semester, he has begun to leave me alone. I looked for it,, and i couldn't tell my then boyfriend because  I know how men are. My ex was pretty mean and condescending off of  just looks. So what would R say about the events with the Dominican. And over the christmas vaca when he called me and called me a bitch and a slut. I knew it, to all men thats what we all are when we arent submitting to them. But could any girl reasonably explain to her boyfriend why she was alone in a guy's room without being accused of being a slut? No so to R I am. To BI was and to S I was a dumb bitch. These words do hurt, and tonight for some reason im crying and thinking and really really hurting. And i wish some day i would develop the ability to share all i feel, not with strangers but those close. Sometimes i wonder if i chose psychology because secretly I am a victim. I think what happened is called sexual assault if i choose to be politically correct. And it feels just as bad  as being raped because you begin to question yourself, your behaviour and your worth. And since im venting, i was molested as a child, but to this day im not sure itll count because i was a child and it was my cousin. I didnt say a word to anyone until now

And im being really mean...

But she needs to know her bf is cheating on her? Right? 

SOO.....

Im in student health services cuz i thought menthol crystals were to be orally ingested...kinda funny

SOO.....

Im in student health services cuz i thought menthol crystals were to be orally ingested...kinda funny

WHAT THE EFF

Ive seen it all, lord alone knows why the fk i wasted my money to pay to beg people to be teachers. Teaching isnt just handing out assisgnments you know. Eff uwi cave hill, st augustine should be handed a frigging medal for professionalism compared to this shithole. Ugh

And she resumes...biggest bs ive seen all week

Coursework (60% of the course grade)

Students will be expected to prepare a major position paper on a topic relevant to the ethical principles of psychological practice that demonstrates an understanding of the objectives of the course. This paper must demonstrate the student’s ability to analyse relevant social psychology literature, and the student’s ability to make judgements about the relevance of the subject matter to their profession. This written position paper is worth 20% of the course grade. Students will also be expected to make a Seminar Case Study Verbal Presentation (worth 20% of the course grade). In addition, students will be expected to attend and participate actively in all classes (attendance, participation and the professor’s overall evaluation of students’ class involvement which includes timeliness, discipline and maturity) is worth 20% of the course grade).

Final Examination (40% of the course grade).

This is something im watching to see what happens. The course book mandates the allocation as 50:50

Im going 2 say it

If you're doing a web search on The UwICH Applied Psychology programme and you happen upon my blog because you're interested in it, i suggest you look elsewhere. Its a waste of time, money and you are greeted with mediocre lecturers. Give it 10 years then check again. As for now, it gets a 2.1/10 from me

What would they say

I have this really strange habit. When i read about a death in the papers or hear of the death of someone, the first thing I do is take to the web to get a glimpse of what they looked like, what they did, who they were. Often facebook and google search or some friend of a friend's satisfies that thirst for knowledge but today, as I hear of another young stranger that has died, I begin to ask myself what would people find from me, that says who I am? My facebook is tightly locked and my blog is as anonymous as anonymous can be. So really, what could they say? So maybe I should have a say in who i am and what im about

1) I dont know what i want to become but i do know I want to be someone that matters, in a profession that helps people, not only a profession that makes money
2) I attended SJC, one of the three in the country and despite the fact that back then i hated being called a convent girl, i proclaim it bravely and proudly today.
3) I cry easily, not to get attention but because i often feel overwhelmed
4) I suffer from trichotillomania, trichophagia and hyperhydrosis
5) I love love love to read and i love to frequent the formerly $10 used book store in chaguanas
6) I used to love love love dating and love love love boys, now im sort of a feminist
7) I hate girls who act oblivious to their boyfriend's infidelities or excuse it as normal male behaviour
8) I could see myself working for the U.N
9) I think breaking up with someone is one of the hardest things to do but sometimes it has to be don
10) Where the eff is my prince charming?
11) Only my friends understand me
12) I think its imperative teachers undergo teachers training before they begin to teach
13) I love Indian movies, like obsessed and its kind of strange that my indian friends make fun of me for it
14) I love that i pushed with my spanish to Cape Level because i secretly enjoy evesdropping on tourists
15) I have one bff in the world who doesnt even know about this blog


Thats just a bit of who I am.  more pieces of my obit to follow as the chapters of the comedy called my life ensues

the flu

ugh i h8 the flu i feel disgusting, am roasting and sound oh so attractive

I dont wanna go back

Im crying right now because as is all things with my life, what;'s bad can only get worse... Im afraid of having to sit in class. Im afraid that she'll announce that she failed me. Im afraid of being lonely and hearing everyone else proclaim that they passed. I passed the exams, got B+ and A's but failed cuz she told me I would. The only thing I know for sure is that I really do like Developmental Psych ( what i really really wanted to do) reaffirmed by the fact that I didnt study but pulled off an 82.  I need strength for this upcoming semester because right now, I only foresee turning back and going home in a week

Witch 1: Me:0

Idk what to do, after giving me a personal phone call telling me i passed the course, she fails me

Karma

Is having fun taking in the mini drama brewing between the members of the Bissembar family (karma) and fake profiles. It makes absolutely no sense fighting with people who hide behing a pc

The visit

Today I paid 500 dollars to be shrunk by a shrink. And I realized that there is a legitimacy in what Im studying, there is some need for the profession. As it was know, ive been really down and feeling alone. Truth is few people understand me and unless they do, they'll hate me or think im quite immature. But truth is today i saw that maybe i just need to forge through all the BS, get my MSC and just say FU to the haters. And maybe in a few years i can just wave a few hundred dollar bills in your face and say suck it

Its not real until I buy a ticket....

I  so refuse to buy a ticket although I know i run the risk of missing my first class. I dont want to go bk 2 that hell hole. Anyway enough bitching about my life being a perfect graveyard for buried hopes (thank you Anne of Green Gables). I agreed to step out of my house with Lord Voldemort. Lord Voldemort in my case is the most evils of evil boyfriends I had, he lied, he cheated, he cried, i forgave, he lied, he cheated, he cried i forgave, he lied and i said gtfo my house! The cycle ended. But recently I reopened that channel by answering the phone n such, but do I want him back???? Oh hell no! Forward ever backward never is the mantra with exes and i think all girls should adopt it. An ex is an ex for no reason, I digress... Anywho so i agreed to go out with him manana, why? I now need some lie to get myself out of it. Yes I said lie because no way on God's green earth am I getting into a vehicle with He Who Shall Not Be Named

One day closer

Aah im one day closer to returning to hell and in my mind im trying to mentally prepare for a semester of being bullied stressed and provoked to insanity by madame psychologist senator. I dont think i can tell an authority figure where to go with her nonsense because i havent been raised to speak back to adults. I remmeber the one time i ever spoke up to an authority figure, my piano teacher, Miss Nimblett when she called me stupid , the whisper of a murmur of "im not stupid." I remmeber internally quaking in my boots but at the same time feeling proud that i did something i never thought I could do. But could I really stand up to madame psychologist senator? The woman in charge of handing out my grades. Nope! Im too much of a coward. So instead i'll just sit there and hum a Lil wayne song that hopefully has tons of bad words and tune her out.


ps..bullying isnt only perpetrated by students, teachers as well and sometimes its even more vicious

The promises to self on day 21

Yes im still counting, yes i never forget. Ive been back home 3 weeks exact and despite not completely excited to go back 2 school, i cant wait to leave this madhouse. The events of the 16th december (being thrown out the car by the guys) leaves a lot of change to be expected of next semester but I await a new adventure. I await having to deal with the senator/lecturer/beast/ and have promised myself to pick up myself and quietly leave if insults and terrorism ensues. I also have promised myself to not fall back into my comfort zone in my few remaining days here and give Voldemort the idea that a chance of reconciliation is possible.

An imagined life

Can i press fast forward on the life i was given, or swap lives with someone on tv? No really! I may sound ungrateful but if I had the choice id be raised by the cosbys with a big sister like DJ Tanner and a pet like lassie. A boyfriend like Finn from glee and hair like Serena Vanderwoodsen. Id go to Yale or Princeton or Stanford and be the envy of everyone I know. But then again, having everyone jealous of me wouldnt be too much fun would it? Im  rambling on but the point is, I have what i have; shitty parents, no boyfriend atm and I attend UWI but I resolved that im not going to feel sorry for myself anymore and work with what I have. I think...

My rules for dating me-for now

1) You must be able to dress yoruself well
2) You must have impeccable manners
3)Your pockets must be fat, or on the road to becoming fat
4) You must not have a potty mouth
5) You must know how to ___________
6)You must remember I am a princess. After all, my dog is named Diva
7) You must love my friends
8) My friends must love you
9) You must know how to be supportive
10)You must realize im no fool and welcome me as an equally weighted pathner

RP of trincity

Dear rp,


After today, how you treated me, im glad i got out of this so called relationship. You call up and cuss someone who has just left the hospital, on anti anxiety meds, under severe stress to tell them go fuck themself, you wish them dead. I know now i really made the best decision. I wasted 2 years on you. Two years on someone who only had a 2 piece and fries to share to offer me, or at least who was willing to. Two years on someone who held hate, who has now begun to show me hate when all i asked for was love. But for 2011, all i ask is that you learn to love your flabby self. Learn to accept your vindictive self. Learn to appreciate what you had.  Because you never really did

Written, your ex from 2008-2010 (They were good years)

Why

Why did he have to turn out to be such an uncaring asshole. I was hoping that at least even after i'd be able to say yeh we broke up but he was one of the good ones. But he just turned out to be another selfish uncaring cheating dunm fuck