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Saturday, October 8, 2011

Writing back my story

I just played the recording from that wknd and my knees started to shake. Am I strong enough? Maybe. Do I wish I didnt write the Dean? Maybe. Do I think anything will come of my complaints? No!!


So as of write now I am coersively seeking therapy just so that I can be given a grade formy course. I have NO problem with therapy in fact I like it but being compelled to do 10 sessions is a bit rush and I would think she, as a professional would know that there would be little gains from rushing the process.

So now, Im going to counsel myself addressing the issues highlighted..

Dependence on laptop-I write my notes there, i suffer from hyperhydrosis which has resulted in a lifetime of poor penmanship. So from now on I will walk with a rock and a knife, to carve out my notes, etch them out in hyroglyphics.

Lack of self confidence as evidenced by asking my grade-Umm if a student DIDNT wonder how he or she performed id be worried, so, to address this in the future, id take a peek in your mark book. Look Ma! No questions, arent you proud.

My inability to deal with failure and negative feedback with inappropriate behaviour such as sobbing - Listen here, Ill have you know I failed both UWI Accounts and Economics,  and I dealt with it, ihave an undergrad degree, I didnt go shanking the teacher. As for innapproprite behaviour such as sobbing, were you in the toilet stall with me lizzie the lezzie??? How do you know it wasnt allergies from your leau de granny perfume?? All you saw was a red face. Plus real humans cry, unless u arent a real human, but then again, you're perfect.


Your poor people skills- Lady, I have like 300 friends on fb, all of whom I know and actually talk to.....nuffsaid

I wish i could say all these things to you, but I cant, if you know me,  this is what goes through my brain but doesnt come out my mouth. You think I have poor people skills but you need to come see me, observe me outside of the classroom or even read my blog and you may understand me. You sent me into a depression with your unkind ways and words, your extremely inaccurate assessment of me. But im fighting my way out of it, thanks to some friends, especially PS who supported me here. 

I said a prayer for you today that you may grow a heart. And I meant it. I think sometimes people  forget where they come from or what they come from and as such they become someone else, someone unlikeable but they think they are loved. A kind of regina george syndrome. I dont know what the future holds for me with this programme but I know that you DONT hold my future in your hands really, Ill make my own
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