DAY 2 Back in the home

I really feel so sad. I dont know what to do. I cant really say much. I ended things with ryan yesterday and felt much less than I feel right now. All my emotions are channeled into the fact that I have no family. I feel like a permanent loner and judging by what I did yesterday, i may never get the whole shebang. I just wish people would accept and love me for who I am. I just wish the mother would understand that im an outsider, Even more so with the new creature in town Im even more of a minute specimen. I really just wish I would die. No one would miss me. Ive run through the scenario numerous times. If a burgular breaks in and has to take someone hostage, I'll go, ill be the least missed and i think everyone would volunteer me cuz I have the least to lose.