nuff said

Pain

I hold so much pain in my heart in my chest it hurts
It will never disappear
And so i cry, shed tears, more than necessary in the hope that the pain will go away
But it wont, itll stay with me until I die
And no1 but me shall weep

Success=simultaneous failure?

Sometimes i wonder if i overestimate my acheivements, my successes
I think most mothers would be proud of what I acheived, undergrad then masters and next phd
But my mother, she's just like blah
I think she would be more proud of me if i settled down and got married even if unhappily
Would have been more proud if i could have given her a grandchild
Would have been more proud if i were less smart
Would have been prouder if I were prettier
But I am not
I feel like a perpetual disappointment.

The only REAL thing keeping me from killing myself is my student loans. Im not sefish enough to leave them to pay it.

But maybe after, when im done, i will
Because i really do hate who I am and hate my life

Yeh so what, its almost over isnt it...

Life is so firetrucking depressing and the fact that im not allowed a voice makes me want to SCREAM inside! I wish i could find that outspoken person I found years ago, im so introverted and recently, i never leave my house. Im just a depressing mess

Narcolepsy

Why the eff am i so tired during the day, while at practicum, i fell asleep standing up, wtf yo

Im learning to hide my emotions well

I guess thats what they want, my feelings have been hurt yet again but i wait to cry in silence. 

Clearly to teach/supervise in UWICH

You have to be an idiot