Ask Rene: Can I Date My Sister’s Ex-Fiance?

Dear Rene,

Here’s a question for you. I’ve always had a crush on my older sister’s now, ex-fiance. Susan and Matt dated for two years and broke up about a year ago. During a girl’s night out, I ran into Matt at a local bar and we spent quite a bit of time catching up. It felt great because it was like seeing an old friend.

When it was time to leave, Matt gave me a kiss on the cheek and I felt a spark, a connection with him. I know he did too because he told me he was going to call so we could get together. Needless to say, I felt like I was walking on air when I left the bar.

Rene, I really like him but of course, I am worried about how this will all shake out. Is this a good or bad idea? What are the rules when it comes to dating my sister’s ex-fiance?

Sheila

Chicago

Dear Sheila:

I think this is a FANTASTIC idea! Listen, when you get married, make sure your sister is your maid of honor and recruit her to throw your first baby shower. Then ask her if she’d be your birthing buddy when you push out all 2.5 kids that you and Matt will have as part of your perfect, happy little family. SHEESH! Really lady? In case you don’t know, that is SARCASM spelled out with a highlighter, in all caps with a red neon arrow pointing at it because apparently your common sense gauge is broken. Here’s how I see it.

IT WILL CRUSH YOUR SISTER: Yes, Matt and Susan are no longer seeing one another but at one time, they had a deep connection and were planning on sharing their lives together. That train jumped the tracks and a left trail of bloody carnage in its wake. A year later, I’m sure there’s a part of Susan that still cares for Matt; in fact, she may still be trying to get over him. You parading him around like you got the best toy from the Cracker Jack box is not going to be conducive to her healing. In fact, it’s ugly and mean, which brings me to my next point…

WHAT’S GOING ON IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SISTER? I’m not a psychologist as I have said before but the fact that you would even consider this makes me wonder about the underlying issues between you and Susan. Why are you doing this? You want something the older sister had? Is this your chance to have some crazy power over her? A chance to cut her deep? Because if you start dating her ex you will do just that. She might even find out that you had a crush on Matt  all along. Then how will Susan feel? How will YOU feel? And speaking of motives and underlying issues, what is up with Matt? Why is HE doing this and what makes him think this is okay? Chew on that for just a second and then…

RUN FAR, FUN FAST: This is real life, not Lifetime. This is real emotion with real people involved. I have one sister and when she divorced her first husband, I wanted to kick that cad right in the keister for hurting my sister the way he did. Who knows what happened between Matt and Susan but it probably wasn’t good given that they’re not still together. Look, there are just some things that violate life’s Big Book of Rules and this is one of them.  I’m sure you could make the argument for your personal happiness and you and Matt were destined to be together. I’m not buying it and I doubt your sister will either. The “ick” factor is hovering quite high here. Just don’t do it.

Oh and that “connection” you felt when Matt kissed you on the check? Yeah, that was booze talking. Ignore it. There are tons fish in the sea.  If you care about your sister and her feelings, you’ll cast your net in another direction.

I just need to get away, far

So yesterday I stayed home from class, came out my room to see my sister dressed and ready to go. She looks at me uneasy then my ex, a boy i used to fool around with, a boy who went psycho after he wanted me bk pulls up, and she jumps in his car. I pull out my phone, pic , upload to fb with the caption "this is what a stink bitch does" yes its immature, but standing right next to me, screaming, is her 15 month old daughter. She's shouting mummy mummy, while her mother goes off with him.

And no he's not a catch, no, Im not jealous. He's a dirty little boy who smokes weed. But why someone I had history with? Something which she was aware of. To me it just highlights how tactless she is, or maybe just how stupid. My friends save for 1 say im right to say its disgusting. Theyre expecially disgusted by his role in all of this.

So after i take the pic and upload, my neice is still screaming, my mother comes to pick her up cnfused and i tell her with venom,im going out, i just need to get out of the house "your daughter just went with my ex" So she picks up the phone and calls her, comes to report she told her to come back home. Im still going. I shower quickly, pack my bag and leave home, only to see the car swing past me hurriedly as im bending the corner. I just need to get away

Yes im the one that's always wrong and im a deadbeat

Saturday: you wanna comewith me down south, ill drive
No response
Sunday,Im feeling for an ice cream,you wanna comewith
No
And today is tuesday, and you hopped in the car and go off with her, you then barge in the room and ask me why :you does open your window
My reply via text :"because i sometimes want to prove to myself im not lying but you are when you say you dont want to go somewhere with me but do so with her"
BARGES INTO ROOM


'YOU SEE YOU AND YOUR SHIT, I FED UP OF YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT, YOU DOES TRY YOUR LUCK.

but i was simply pointing out how it looks to me,

 i dont care,you full of bullshit.You know where i went, to the grocery, to buy______ yes your sister gave me money and you didnt, you just full of shit, thats all

slams door once, shingles fall, slams door twice.

I HAVE TO BE THE WORST DAUGHTER EVER, TO EVEN EXPECT MY MOTHER TO WANT TO SPEND TIMEWITH ME,L. HOW DARE I EXPECT THAT, WHY WOULD SHE??? IM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT

I think my paitience is being tested

Oh dear god kill me now, run me over. And honestly I dont care for a funeral. This cannot be it?? I know im moaning and whining for the past 5 months over something that has been a reality for some people's past couple years but please, let $3800 a month not be my reality after having studied for both a bsc, and a msc with 2000 in loans a month....Im left with basically nothing. And to top it all off, the mother gets a new job, is flaunting her uniforms and the sister gets made permanent, both having only studied up to cxc. I tried to be happy for the friend who told me she got a new job friday, or the one whose byline i saw today, but im fucking jealous and becoming more and more depressed. Im beginning to realize life isnt fucking fair and maybe i should have just said fuck school and done something else. Its sad, its reality. I really just want enough money to move out and have my own place. Last sunday that ungrateful did something violent towards me as a joke and the mother said not a fucking word. It hurts. The father on the other hnd yelled at me. I fucking hate my life sometimes.  Dear god help me, $6000 a month will surely suffice me being close to that goal. Im emotionally drowning and tired of those who are supposed to be my family because they really never ever support me and my shit. and no1 understands because everything for them is so honky dorey. 

Im sorry, sort this 1 out yourselves, since yall make the perfect fucking team

Ugh 2012 come soon

i am so not in a good mood, that bitch got me so pissed in work todayl, oh how i do so much shit in d cash book, 3 errors....ughdo it yourself, im doing the best I can and im only human, humans make mistakes....i really hope after your show of behaviour today you dont expect me to "sit and eat with you like an office family"
Plus I hate double agents like horsey Jill and Jess.


Who the fuck took out my laptop battery and replaced it with the old one, had me wondering why it wsas draining so quickly

Today's events

I freaking touched another car while reversing in couva, dude wasnt too upset, neitehr was I which is strange, maybe because of the mood I was in

The square lady from work "threw words for me" saying im making mistakes in the cash book, wow,lady idgaf if I suck at accounts, it isnt my thing and I know it

Im stillll waiting on websource to deliver my stuff, meanwhile cunty mc countrypants doesnt understand how ordering online works. Put money on my VTM for me to buy her kid a toy and is now upset with me because she didnt put aside enough money for freight and shipping